The Simple Trick That Will Breathe New Life Into Your Living Room

If you don’t know the difference between a den and living room, you might not be Southern. In the South, a den is a casual room, typically filled with comfortable furniture that’s strategically positioned for TV watching. On the contrary, a living room is a formal room, classically appointed with elegant furnishings—and there’s rarely a television in sight.

Living Room Vs. Den

As a kid I couldn’t grasp the concept of living rooms. These spaces were absolutely off limits to children, by the stern decree of our mothers and grandmothers. The furniture in these rooms was for viewing only, upholstered in fussy floral fabrics, with arms, legs, and seats more fragile than bird bones. We weren’t permitted to sit on these divans and chaises, much less eat anywhere near them. Ironically, the living room was the room we spent the least time living in.

Fast forward 40 years, and guess who has a living room of his own? This guy. Before you call me a hypocrite, hear me out. My living room is a far cry from the off-limits formality of my mother’s and grandmother’s living rooms. However, despite my best efforts toward blending design with comfort, my living room, like those of my forebears, was the least lived-in room of the house. Until I made a choice that I swore I never would make.

My Simple Trick

I broke down and got a television for the living room. 

I fought against this “crutch” for a long time. In general, I feel like we all need fewer screens in our lives, whether they’re clutched in our hands or hung from our walls. But while I aspire for all gatherings in my home to be screen-free, that’s not realistic these days. And frankly, it’s inhospitable for me to force that on my guests.

For better or worse, we’ve become accustomed to screens in nearly every setting. And while they’re a distraction to some, to others they’re a social lifesaver, providing fodder for—or escape from—small talk. When you look at the issue from this perspective, having a television could even be considered an act of hospitality. If the most important thing a host can do is make their guests feel comfortable, and having a TV on makes your guests feel at ease, it’s something a good host should at least consider.

Putting a television in my living room has been a game changer. Now, instead of slinking off to the den or haunting the kitchen while I’m trying to cook, folks will linger in the living room. My “move” is to put on something universally appealing and/or seasonally appropriate, turn the volume medium-low, and set out the remote for guests to access as needed. 

I don’t know that my grandmother would approve, but that’s ok. It’s an imperfect solution for vastly different times. At the end of the day, my guests are more comfortable, and they’re spending more time in the room I want them to be in. So I guess you could say I killed two birds with one TV.